Friday, May 29, 2009

I Need Some Sort Of Outlet.

I think I have to take up boxing. Or krav maga. Or therapeutic screaming.

Or, I could stop watching movies that get me all hot and bothered.

I saw Angels and Demons today.

Ewan McGregor was in it a lot.

In a cassock.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009


So... Hugh Jackman.


I went to see a movie in the two twonie Tuesday matinee yesterday. In fact, I went to see Angels and Demons, but it was sold out.

Oh, well.

Now I don't care if I ever see Angels and Demons. I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine instead. Mercy me.

It was just wall-to-wall hunks. Hunks everywhere!

And, unlike most movies of this type, I followed the storyline.

Not that the storyline was really a concern of mine. I mean, what is up with Hugh Jackman? How is he as good as he is? Triple threat, funny, hunky, father, Australian, tall, hunky...

Gimmie a sec. I got distracted.

In fact, I'm gonna go meditate for a while.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Open Letter To My Acne.

Dear My Acne,

Listen, we have to talk. I know we've been together for a long time. Since about grade 6, in fact. That's a long time. Almost 20 years!

Almost 20 years.

I hate to have to do this, Acne, but I think it's time we went our separate ways. I know, I should have said something earlier, but I had always hoped that our relationship would naturally fizzle and you'd go away on your own.

Maybe it's time I was more assertive. I was never comfortable weilding the proverbial pitch fork of chemical weapons. I couldn't stand the thought of increased cancer risk or peeing hormones out into our water systems so fish grow testicles on their foreheads (or whatever happens). Not just to scare you off. No. While people probably think I'm not that shallow, I am; but I still won't let you change my stance on this.

Please leave me alone. I'm 30, for goodness sake.

And no, before you ask, I'm not cheating on you. I've not taken up with psoriasis or even some rebound exzema if you leave me. In fact, considering your unhealthy addicion to my hormones, the only other condition I'm likely to contract by the time you leave is osteoporosis! (As an aside - I hope you get some help - you are ugly when you're on your monthly hormone bender.)

Did I ever tell you that the biggest lie I was ever told was that I would grow out of you? Get over you? Like you're the fucking love of my life?

Well, fuck you, Acne. You've scarred me in more ways than one. You're put on notice.

Good luck,


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Kings And Queens.

I've been having so much fun at my weekly ukulele jams.

Tomorrow night is another theme night, so I'm going to attempt Go West's "King of Wishful Thinking" by myself, and then Sunny and I are going to sing Rufus Wainwright's "One Man Guy." Sunny sings beautiful harmonies, seemingly effortlessly, and we've sung together many times.

I have to rehearse both songs quite a bit before tomorrow night. Fortunately (?) I'm not going to work tomorrow because my bosses have meetings out of the office and I don't have a key, so I have some extra time. It'll be such a light paycheque next week! Yikes!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Garden Is In.

With aching muscles and grungy fingernails, I'm happy to announce my garden is in.

There's a beautiful big maple next door that shades almost the entire yard. I'm sure that tree is going to save our lives in the heat of the summer, but right now, it's difficult to find a spot with bright sunlight.

Last weekend, I got 8 large ice cream tubs. Now, 8 small tomato plants call them their home. I am glad that I put them in containers because I've had to move them several times to find the sunniest spot. I hope they thrive, but I hear tomatoes don't always do well in pots.

I also put in strawberry plants, only to find that they only produce fruit in their second year. Bah. I really really really wanted strawberries this year. Anyhow, the cool thing is, I have them hanging from the deck, planted in burlap bags. Hopefully, they'll trail down.

I have sugar snap peas in next to our neighbours' fence, zucchini next to that, and a big wooden box full of beets. (Hereafter referred to as the "beet box.") In smaller 2 litre buckets, I have basil in. I'll probably have to thin that because I put them in too densely, I think.

I have to get netting to cover the tomatoes because the neighbours say raccoons pick the fruit off the vines and leave them to rot without even eating them. Dicks.

Friday, May 01, 2009