You might say there are plenty of great men I could take to the Oscars as my date. They're more or less the same.
Oh, are they?
I say no. For years, when I have fantasized about being nominated for an Oscar for my crackerjack screenwriting skillz, I've always known who my Oscar date will be.
Jason Schwartzman is the kind of non-threatening awesome guy who would be a great date.
1) He knows the biz and could make me feel at ease around, say, Bill Murray or Angelica Houston.
2) He's a screenwriter and would be just jealous enough of me to keep the power balanced on the date.
3) The two of us would look hilarious walking down the red carpet; me in my 4-inch heels and him, three apples high.
4) His hair looks so glossy and soft, I can't wait to run my fingers through it when we're fumbling at the Vanity Fair Party.
5) He's a Coppola, so it's like dating royalty.
6) He's a musician and I could introduce him to the Canadian indie scene.
7) He's so flipping handsome, but in an unassuming way. Except in this photo, where he's smokin' hot and looks like my T.
8) Finally, and most importantly, he must be a funny guy. His timing as an actor is genious. I just can't see that not translating to his real life.