Yesterday I worked the matinee for "Anne." We only had a house of about 400. It was a really hot day, and I guess everyone thought that instead of sitting in a nice, air-conditioned theatre for four hours, it would be a better day to go to the beach and introduce their kids to the wonderful world of melanoma.
Anyhow, my standard greeting when people come to the door of the theatre is: "Hello! Come on in. Can I help you find where you're sitting this afternoon/evening?" Every once in a while there's a dick that says, "I dunno, can you?" I then smile demurely and concentrate on not head-butting them in the sternum.
Yesterday, I greeted a group of four adults with my rote, "Can I help you find your seats?" and then, as an afterthought, I said, "May I help you find your seats?"
The man laughed and said, "You must be an English major at UPEI." (As an aside, this pisses me off. Do people generally think that only English majors have learned to properly use English grammar? But I digress.)
I said, "No, but I was an English minor."
"What was your major?"
This question is dangerous, because I don't always trust that people will understand what Religious Studies is, and assume I'm a Bible beater. I took a chance and told him.
"Oh!" he said, and I assumed the wheels were turning and his next question would be, "What do you think of those Muslims?" (This was an actually response I got once.)
He said, "So, this is what you're doing with a BA in Religious Studies?"
So I said, "Fuck off. Who the hell are you to make fun of my work?" [ That's my job.]
Ok, I didn't say that. I said, "Actually, I have my MA in Religious Studies now. I'm sure you can imagine that it's not a terribly marketable area of expertise outside of academia."
It shut him up, but I think it was mostly out of pity. I don't blame him.
He asked me where I got my MA. I told him McMaster. His wife told me I should have gone to Mount A. Um. Yeah. I hear a lot about their great Religious Studies program. It turns out he taught mathematics there.
Bully for him, working in the field he studied. No, I'm not jealous. Just because I hide my face when people went I to high school with come to the theatre, I'm not jealous. I'm pitiful.