Sunday, July 30, 2006

Eff You, Grandma.

I'm working at the Art Gallery now, and some leather-coloured old bitty just came in, dressed from head to toe in Lululemon yoga clothes, stylish grey pixie cut on her lean golden-years-pilates body.

She asked where the Harrises were, and I pointed out the area. I said, "Robert Harris is on this side, and then there's a William Critchlow Harris nook over here."

She and her friend wandered off, and I heard leatherface tell her friend that Robert Harris was a member of the Group of Seven.

I called over, "Sorry for interupting, but that wasn't Robert Harris. That was Lawren Harris. Robert is a little too early." He also mostly did portraits while Lawren Harris was way more... Group of Seven-y.

She and her friend went on about their tour of the Harrises. She finished, and bee-lined back to me to say that although a lot of the Robert Harrises were very good, you could tell he wasn't very adept because his hands aren't very well done.

I was really taken aback, because I had paid special attention to the hands, as I had heard that hands are particularly difficult and a good touchstone to look out for. I said, oh! I thought they were quite good.

No, she said. Not really.

Then I was wondering, if she thought she was such an expert, why did she think this Harris was a part of the Group of Seven, while I'm almost totally ignorant of art history and I knew that, just by glancing at Robert Harris' work, that he didn't fit into that style?

Bye-bye, leatherface. Be off with you.

2 comments:

Holly said...

My lord... I think that woman taught me in high school. The pixie cut, the critical attitude, the yoga pants... the bitchiness!

Eerie.

Ben said...

How dare she call into question your expertise and authority!? You should have horsewhipped her. I mean, the *nerve*.