Avast? What does that even mean?
I want to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Electric Boogaloo on Sunday night. It was good. I judge goodness here by how much I laughed out loud, and I did that a lot. I'm a braying ass at any given moment of the day, I know, but still...
For this Pirates, they turned the swashbuckle up to 11. Captain Jack Sparrow (or, Sparrah, as the squiddy creature pronounced it) is fantastic, and I didn't find it terribly derivative of the first Pirates. There were a couple of parts where I was a little disappointed that they dug up old crap, but old crap that wasn't even all that useful to dig up. The dog with the keys? Not so funny. The shabby light fixtures? Funny the first time with Orlando's delivery. Eunuch references? Ad-libbed the first time by Depp, and not unfunny the second time around, even if the pall of scriptedness was on them..
Orlando was in it somewhat less, I think, which was ok with me. Keira Knightly looked downright swarthy in parts. I guess they are in the Caribbean, but isn't she supposed to be a lady with milky white skin? Come on, people, lay off the mystic tan.
Johhny Depp. Ah... Johnny Depp. He was great. So great. He's a very funny dude, and I'm glad I'm getting to appreciate his talents. I was never one of the "Johnny Depp, he's so dreamy (instert swoon here)" girls, but now I know that there's no one else who could play a camp, drunk, pirate like Depp. And we get to see him make out with a chick in this one, which is always satisfying.
I didn't like that basically, nothing was really resolved. It might as well have faded to black and gone, "dun, dun, dun..." with a "TO BE CONTINUED" superimposed over a freeze-frame of Orlando shrugging his shoulders and going "wha?!?" The third one was filmed at the same time, so I'm all set for a glorious resurrection of Captain Jack.