Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Arr. Avast.

Avast? What does that even mean?

I want to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Electric Boogaloo on Sunday night. It was good. I judge goodness here by how much I laughed out loud, and I did that a lot. I'm a braying ass at any given moment of the day, I know, but still...


For this Pirates, they turned the swashbuckle up to 11. Captain Jack Sparrow (or, Sparrah, as the squiddy creature pronounced it) is fantastic, and I didn't find it terribly derivative of the first Pirates. There were a couple of parts where I was a little disappointed that they dug up old crap, but old crap that wasn't even all that useful to dig up. The dog with the keys? Not so funny. The shabby light fixtures? Funny the first time with Orlando's delivery. Eunuch references? Ad-libbed the first time by Depp, and not unfunny the second time around, even if the pall of scriptedness was on them..

Orlando was in it somewhat less, I think, which was ok with me. Keira Knightly looked downright swarthy in parts. I guess they are in the Caribbean, but isn't she supposed to be a lady with milky white skin? Come on, people, lay off the mystic tan.

Johhny Depp. Ah... Johnny Depp. He was great. So great. He's a very funny dude, and I'm glad I'm getting to appreciate his talents. I was never one of the "Johnny Depp, he's so dreamy (instert swoon here)" girls, but now I know that there's no one else who could play a camp, drunk, pirate like Depp. And we get to see him make out with a chick in this one, which is always satisfying.

I didn't like that basically, nothing was really resolved. It might as well have faded to black and gone, "dun, dun, dun..." with a "TO BE CONTINUED" superimposed over a freeze-frame of Orlando shrugging his shoulders and going "wha?!?" The third one was filmed at the same time, so I'm all set for a glorious resurrection of Captain Jack.

10 comments:

Holly said...

I tried the first one, but I found it a vast and unending boredom. I got through it by a very slim margin. Therefore, the thought of another one gives me the dry heaves and shakes, like a hamster shocked once too often by a probe.

However, Depp is always wonderful. I am glad I gave him a chance and ignored the swoony girls.

Catherine said...

Yeah, I think my only Depp mistep of late was Willy Wonka. He creeped me out, even though no one could claim his interpretation wasn't unique. I resembled that hampster during the scary boat ride, as it was only days after my death-defying boat ride.

Jeremy said...

Catttherinnnnne

I discovered your blogggggg

Hamilton is gross hot and it smells, and I am dying.

Catherine said...

Jummo!
Welcome!
Sorry I didn't tell you about my blog, but I had to, in case I wanted to bitch about you on it.
Noble intentions...
:)

Holly said...

Your link du jour confuses me to no end...

Catherine said...

Why?

Holly said...

Because your link to "Heeb Magazine" (which is not altogether appropriate) takes me to a Cybermuse page of Harris paintings...

Catherine said...

A)Why inappropriate?
b)Sloppy blogger, me. I fixed the link.

Holly said...

A) It may be one of those "we can laugh and you can't" things... And may be a bit much *right now*, conditions being what they are.

B) Thanks.

Catherine said...

A) Oh, I can laugh. Funny's funny. And what conditions? Like, in Lebanon? Terrible, terrible things are going on over there that are way too policical and deeply entrenched to have much to do with flip remarks about the Beastie Boys in the "New Jew Review." Should I cancel my subscription?

B) Um. Nothing. It's resolved. =cough=