Monday, March 13, 2006

Oscars Post-Mortem 2006.

Ahh, Oscars.

I have to write this commentary before the memories fade more than they already have. The Oscars are like that – a toothsome little nugget of indulgence that tastes sweet but makes one feel a little sickly after consumption. Ok, that’s editorializing. It’s not that bad. I see it more like a trivia source, and a good source of Clooney-watching.

Speaking of Clooney (don’t mind if I do!), this Oscars started very Clooney-strong. And I’m not even talking about his early Oscar win for Syriana, but his appearance in the Jon Stewart intro reel. Clooney… in bed with Jon Stewart… can’t process awesomeness… KABOOM!!! (um, that was the sound of my head exploding).

Yes, Crash was a nice surprise, but as I wrote in the previous post, I liked all 4 of the best pic picks, so I wouldn’t be disappointed if any of them won. On cbc.ca, one the commentators wrote that the theme of the evening was “racism is bad, y’all!” Yeah, that works. Crash as best picture, Richard Pryor with the place of honour on the “they’re dead” reel, Clooney’s somewhat clumsy Hollywood’s American Anti-Apartheid reference, and then Jon Stewart reminding everyone that thanks to Hollywood, there is no longer any hatred in the world. Well played, sir.

WTF with Charlize Theron’s dress? I thought it was a mess, but Joan Rivers (a name I never thought would appear on my blog) said in person, it was stunning. And she’s not forthcoming with compliments, is she, seeing's as she black and rotten on the inside. On TV it looked black, but apparently it was dark green. Does that mean in real life that fucking great teratoma on her shoulder didn’t look like a fucking great train wreck? Well, I didn’t see it in real life. I saw it on the TV, and it was a train wreck. Consider your audience, Charlize. Oh well, at least she didn’t look orange this year.

As for dresses, it was all Jennifer Lopez and Salma Hayek. Amazing.

Heath Ledger: please shave. It doesn’t work on you. Who do you think you are? Depp? You are not Depp.

Will Smith is awesome.

Grown men: don’t carry around plush penguins. Not becoming.

Michelle Williams… I don’t know where to start. Gasp-worthy. And not in a good way.

And... scene.

2 comments:

Rosey said...

I think plush penguins make a fabulous accessory for anyone!

Catherine said...

Wrong.