Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Deep Breaths.

I'm so much better today. Not so much as a sigh. I think I got it out of my system.

I feel I should, though, make a clarification today.

That I'm sad and lonely doesn't mean I don't want people to ask me out if I'll be an odd one out. It doesn't disable me from conversation and company. It also doesn't mean that my friends can't talk about their boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands or treat me with kid gloves, as if I'd burst into flames.

Also, because this has confused people in the past, I have to try to explain: being sad that I'm lonely doesn't preclude me from being happy for others' happiness. It just reminds me that I'm sad, and sometimes, in the perfect storm of stress and emotions, the sad side of the scales tips and I have to be careful what I say or where I am. This is why sometimes, being by myself is best. This is rare, though. Most times I'm fine.

Thanks for everyone's kind words. I think I have to post stuff like that because when I'm in the middle of it, I don't feel like there's anyone I can talk to. I know that might not be true, but when I feel like I'm totally alone, a venting of stress on-line is very helpful. It makes me feel that someone is listening.


Holly said...

Hee hee. Maybe we should all have t-shirts with this type of warning printed on them for when we feel blue.

Aside from you, a couple friends effectively put me on suicide watch when I was low last month, from what they saw on my blog. People don't seem to realize that blogging the blues is (1) healthy, (2) relaxing in its way, and (3) often sounds much worse than it actually is because it is a vent.

When it's in print it scares people more, I think.

Anyway, this is a good "clearing the air" post.

Holly said...

By the bye: The frequency of your updates are on a good role. Nice to see!

marilyn said...

Hello Fern,
You make me sad. I love you very much, remember that! I think you should come visit me in Upper Canada. Connie misses you too! Let me make it clear that just because I am writing here does not mean I am now a fan of Blogs. Just a fan of you. Back to work, call me later,