Thursday, November 25, 2004

I Don't Deserve To Be In Grad School.

I've heard there's some sort of syndrome where a person would constantly think they are not worthy of things they achieve. I forget what it's called. Anyhow, I have no idea who dropped the ball and let me into grad school, but they should be fired. Or at least put on probation.

I'm at Mike's apartment. It's 1:22am. I'm still fudging writing this fudging Dharma/Bhakti paper for my GD undergrad class. It has to be at least 8 pages long, and can I even fart out 6? NO! I just added something about Kama for a measly 8 lines! It barely fits with the thesis! Grasping at straws.

And I'm supposed to be writing a 60-100 page thesis next semester? Are they fudging kidding me?

Mike has gone to bed, and I'm still pecking away. He said he'd read it over for me in the morning if I have anything of substance. He didn't say that, of course, but it's still up in the air, so I had to throw that in.

What did I do today to prepare? I looked up quotes and devised a skeletal outline. I never do that and thought it would be some sort of panacea. I'm almost through it now and I'm still on page 6. Jebus H. Christ!

I'm going to go back to it. It is my dharma as a Brahmacharin. That's a celebate student. Hm. That's another post, I guess. I'm in too bitchy a mood right now to address that! :)

1 comment:

mel said...

go on catherine. just say it... Fuck! it's not that hard, and we won't be mad at you. :P